26 Mar 2026

I can feel myself slipping. Is it that I’m feeling unmotivated to write, or is it that I’m just busy and forget that I have a dedicated space to share my thoughts?

Either way, I don’t exactly feel obligated to write, but something always brings me back. I received an email from my editor a few days ago asking if I could take on a story that required a super fast turnaround, and I found myself wishing so badly that I could say yes. But if I did, I knew I’d set myself and my editor up for failure. My days are much too full, so I pretty much only write after the kids have already gone to bed, and more than half the time, I’m fast asleep with them.

I am curious about what my life will look like come August, when all three kids will be in school. My mortgage demands I go back to work. I wouldn’t trade these past few years for anything since I got to spend so much time with the kids, but I am intimidated by the workforce and how much it must have changed since I last worked a full-time job.

This past week and a half has brought the heat, with temperatures ranging between 80-90 degrees. I decided to break out my bicycle for the first time in months and was amazed at how good it felt to ride again, despite the weather.

You might hear it said that when you become a parent, there’s a birthday party to attend every weekend. As it turns out, that’s only a slight exaggeration because we also find ourselves at birthday parties almost every weekend. Last Sunday, we celebrated Aubri’s eldest son’s birthday at Port View Park along the marina, and it felt like a perfect day, the kind where you just feel happy and lucky to be where you are at that exact moment. The kids enjoyed biking around, eating pizza, whacking a piñata and devouring birthday party treats while I attempted to catch up with Aubri and Travis (her husband, also one of my college friends) between their hosting duties. What I loved most was seeing just how much of a community surrounded them: Family and friends, both new and old, all coming together to celebrate.

Maggie and Eugene’s school also held their annual open house last week. I am always so impressed at how much these kids can do at such a young age. I find myself constantly wondering if I was just as achieved as they are when I was their respective ages (eight and six); if I ask my parents, I’m sure they’d tell me I wasn’t — for grandparents, the grandchildren always win.

On Friday, my friend Yue invited me along for an appointment at Beem, a spa with infrared saunas and light therapy treatments. I was hesitant to subject myself to even more heat given the weather, but I decided to give it a go. I was impressed to make it through the 40-minute sauna session and it did feel good to sweat (but also to shower afterwards). I am not sure I can be convinced of the legitimacy of light therapy and its effects, but I can attest to the relaxation that comes with alone time and focusing on myself.

Over the weekend, we watched Eugene play his third baseball game (jury’s still out on whether or not he enjoys the sport) and attended another birthday party, this time to celebrate our neighbor’s son who just turned three. During the many times I feel unsure about where I am in life, I am reminded by the presence of these neighbors in particular that perhaps I was meant to end up here after all.

I often find I have trouble relating to a lot of people I have met over the past few years for various reasons, but these neighbors just “get it.” They understand the struggles of my upbringing as well as the struggle I feel morally and financially living where we do now. I generally believe I have an active role in shaping my fate and destiny, but it really does feel like some situations choose us. If I was more adamant about not living in the home we’re in now, I never would have met these neighbors and the other great families that also live on our block.

Sunday morning brought a very early pastry run. Thankfully, Ashley was able to join me this time! The wait in line went by much faster with her company, and we decided to play tourist afterwards in hopes of seeing the giant Steller sea lion rumored to be visiting Pier 39. While we did see and hear many of the sea lions, I don’t think the giant one made an appearance, or maybe he’s really not that giant after all and blended in with the rest of his sea lion pals.

If the forecast is correct, rain is coming soon, so I’ve tried to enjoy this week’s clear weather as much as possible by asking the kids to bike with me to school or around the neighborhood. One day, I might even be confident enough to stand up on the pedals or bike with one hand... all things the kids can do with ease. They continue to amaze me and teach me daily.